75+ Shell

Need a little pep in your step? A little crunch in your lunch? Nuts are the perfect addition to any meal or snack. Packed with protein, fiber, and healthy fats, nuts are a tasty and good-for-you treat. They walnut disappoint (see what we did there?). In celebration of these delicious eats, we’ve rounded up a whole bunch of — wholesome! — nut jokes to share with your kids the next time they turn their noses up at nuts on their dinner plate.

Before we take a crack at nut humor, though, did you know that there are 11 varieties and types of nuts? They include pistachios, hazelnuts, cashews, Marcona almonds, macadamia nuts, peanuts, almonds, Brazil nuts, pine nuts, and pecans. Each and every one has its own flavor profile and set of unique characteristics (health benefits, too!). So, whatever type you choose, your body will thank you.

Now, in our joke roundup, we use the term "nut" a bit loosely. You’ll see jokes featuring coconuts, acorns, and other types of nuts that aren't really considered nuts at all. But they’re funny, so we thought we’d include them anyway. We hope this does nut leave you disappointed. Let's get started.

A couple of nuts.

A cash-ew.

An astro-nut.

A horse chestnut tree.

Who's there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!

To get to the peanut.

"Cashew later."

Cashew.

The Creature from the Black Legume.

It used the inter-nut.

Donuts.

The nearest Shell station.

Catch-yous aka cashews.

Peanut coladas.

The peanut butter cup.

He wanted them rusted.

It was afraid of the nutcracker.

To cashew its check.

The acorn-ival.

A-corn dog.

"I’m gonna cashew!"

Act like a nut.

Creamed a-corn.

It went with the traffic jam.

A squirrel that's running late.

Who's there? Butter. Butter who? I butter nut tell you.

Michelle.

It was nut funny.

He was roasted.

Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer walnuts.

A Brazil nut.

He was paid peanuts.

A mustach-io

Who's there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It's a secret.

A walnut.

A chess-nut.

"To be or nut to be."

In a Jif.

"Nice spread!"

Work came to a grinding halt.

In a nutshell.

"If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy."

A pistachio.

It cracks.

Flea-nut butter.

He became a shell of who he once was.

It becomes a chestnut.

Imma cashew outside!

The peanut felt very unsalted.

Cashews.

Act like a peanut.

The peanut butler.

This article was originally published on November 6, 2021